A site for my handmade cards, accompanied by my photos and written meanderings which are occasionally witty, often tongue-in-cheek, and rarely profound. Beginning in June 2013, you'll also see lots of NBUS, which is an acronym I coined for Never-Before-Used-Schtuff. Feel free to join in, use the acronym, and use up your NBUS too! Thanks for coming by! Have a beverage and enjoy!

March 26, 2012

More PTI and Pity Party

No challenge card today, just sharing a card I made while I was using the PTI Framed set for the March blog hop.  It's VERY CAS!




Please enjoy ~ and thank you for stopping by. Special thanks to you if you took the time to leave me a comment! Have a wonderful Monday, wherever you are!

P.S. Pity Party.  Here's a personal sob story I sent off to a friend via email.  I thought you might enjoy my humorous escapade.  I say humorous because I know from life experience that someday soon I will be able to laugh about it.  It always ends thus, and isn't that a wonderful thing?!

Mister and I went on our bimonthly visit to Costco Sunday.  For an old couple, just the two of us, we spend amazing amounts of money at Costco.   I have no idea what COSTCO means, assuming it's an acronym.  My personal belief is that it means this:
<><> <><>
"Come! On! Spend! This! Cashier's! Open!"

©Darnell J. Knauss
 
We made it through the first quadrant, couldn't find men's underwear in the right size, stopped at the booze (natch), got through the maze of snackies, cheeses, produce, and on to the icebox section.  To me that icebox section is a pure torture room.  I run in there like a bunny, grab up two romaine lettuce packs - who cares if they're brown - and dash out.  Too late, my giblets are frozen.
On we went to dairy, then paper goods where we overloaded the cart with enough toilet paper and tissue to wallpaper all the trees in town, and to the frozen dinners, meats, and desserts.  I should say mister went through the frozen aisles, searching for his beloved meatballs.  By now I'm parked in the corner, "You go look!" I whispered, still shaking with cold.  Of course, no surprise, he came back without them.  Sheepish, but still a nitwit.  God did not give men the ability to see past their,  er,  noses.  So, off I go to the rescue.  I did not run.  I walked purposefully, but not fast.  I am a cuddly soft round woman, the opposite of athletic.  But I do go to Curves, and Zumba (for Seniors), and I am able to walk.  Honest. Unless I have a snoot-full, and I did not have a snoot-full.  Plus, I did not walk too fast because I needed to be able to swivel my head, with its giant brain, from one side to the other to check both sides of the aisle.  I made it down the first aisle, around the end cap, and was halfway up the next aisle when I stepped on a pile of air.
Yes, that's right.  Air!  That is not a typo.  I did not change my step, there was nothing on the floor.  But when my right leg stepped down, my back broke.  Seriously, something went kerflooey somewhere and I stopped dead in my tracks from the pain.  It exploded from the center of the low back, out along the right hip and down both the front and the back of my right leg.  Because I stepped on an Air Ball!  Why me?  Who even does this?  Who's ever heard of it?  Had an Air Cat been there earlier, coughing up that Air Ball?  And What The Hell snapped inside me?!
Actually it's all mister's fault, him and his meatballs.  And did I stop?  Neewp, neewp.  Of course not.  A mere pause to catch my breath and do some keegles, if you know what I mean.  I forged ahead as women do.  There were three more aisles up and then down and there, at the last one, on the end cap where no one ever looks, were the flippin meatballs!
I spent the rest of yesterday on a heating pad, popping Tylenol with Codeine.  It was a rough night, but today, if I lock into a certain position, I'm good.  Until I get up.  Don't ever get old!

11 comments:

Redanne said...

Oh, Darnell, you poor thing, hope you will feel a lot better by tomorrow. On a more positive note, your card is gorgeous.

stampwithsandy said...

Darnell, if I wasn't feeling so badly about you being in so much pain, I would be rolling on the floor! Your story is hysterical. Paper crafting is not your only talent, you should be an author. I hope you're feeling better today. (ps: that kind of happened to me once. I was shopping, also, turned my head to look at something and my neck went crunch. I got a tingly thing from the base of my spine that traveled up to the top of my scull. I thought my head would pop off or I would pass out. I lived.)

May said...

Bless you!! I am sorry to laugh when you are in pain, but your post is sooooo funny, you should be a writer, it really did make me (lol) I do hope DH enjoys his meatballs!!!! Go easy on the codine now, Hugs May x x x

scrappymo! said...

Love the card but love this blog post even more!!!
Your story is hilarious...you should be writing a column for a trendy apaper or magazine! You are a grewt writer.

I hope your back feels better soon

lostinpaper said...

Love your CAS card, what a beautiful flower! Hope you are better soon!

Ardyth said...

Oh Darnell - I hate the content of the story and hope you feel better soon, but your style of writing is extremely entertaining - I hope you'll tell us more stories (with less injury!) in the future!

And, I love your CAS card - very springy!

Ardyth said...

Don't take the 'hate' the wrong way - I only hate the injury. LOVE the insight and how I see my husband in yours!

Notes by Nina said...

Darnell, I am so sorry your back is ouching but I have to say you wrote a fabulous tale. Feel better soon. Your card is beautiful, simple and perfect. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog.

Jaydee said...

Darnell, I do hope you are feeling better..... mmmm..... I'd better watch out for the Air cats and Air balls... that was FUNNY!!!!
BTW... love your card, too
hugs
jaydee

Craftychris said...

Oh dear you poor thing! I hope you are feeling beter now. I will be keeping a watch out for those air balls and air cats! That did make me laugh! Your card is fabulous xx

Bonnie said...

Oh, the adventures of Darnell! I'm so glad you can look at the bright side of this injury and make us all laugh in the process. You truly have a gift! I'll be sure to watch out for air balls and I tremble at the thought of going into a COSCO. Take care. I hope your back is well soon.